Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Nature vs. Nurture
I'm going to get a little controversial here. Let's talk about being gay.
Do you think it's a choice? Do your children know what the term "gay" means?
I'll answer those questions. In some cases I think people choose to engage relations with members of the same sex. Especially girls. It's kind of chic to be a lesbian, and I think alot of young ladies do it to be cool.
To BE gay is a different matter. I don't think it's a choice. I think some people are just gay.
I see it already with some of the children in my life. One of my friends SWEARS her oldest son is gay. She says she's known it since he was about 3. (He's 8 now.) I've advised her not to announce it at social gatherings and it drives her husband nuts. But the truth of the matter is, I DO think he probably is. I just think he's too young to have that label. His mom should be a little more discreet.
Another one of my friends has a 7 year old daughter who only wears boy's clothes. She runs around in the summer in a boy's bathing suit and no shirt, (At her own pool.) She rides a boy's bike and only plays with dinosaurs and Rescue Heroes. Maybe she just likes boy things, but my instinct tells me that she might be gay. Or, she might just be a tomboy.
We all have masculine and feminine traits and interests. I would never say to ANYONE I know what I think, but it will be interesting to see what happens in 10 years. (Oh and yes, I know that being a lesbian doesn't mean a woman only dresses in boys clothes and plays sports...I'm just sharing my thoughts on this particular little girl.)
Finally, a boy in my 9 year old daughter's class told her yesterday that he is gay. To meet him is to believe it. I love him, he's a doll. But I was class mom in first grade and I remember thinking he seemed gay when I would see him at parties. It's just amazing to me that in 4th grade he is already aware of this!!!
You might be wondering...how do these children know what GAY is at such a young age? Well I can tell you that my daughter knows because she knows gay people. Two of the tennis pros at our club are in a relationship. My girls know that Candace and Nicole are a couple. Last summer when we stayed at a beautiful Inn in Boothbay Harbor Maine, the Innkeepers gay men. My daughters saw them holding hands, they knew that they were married.
My girls don't know the SPECIFICS of being gay. They just know that it means a man marries a man, or a woman marries a woman. They just accept it as a fact of life. Which I think is good.
What do you think??