Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Nature or Nuture? I'm a case study.....

I say it's nature - you don't choose to be gay. I think there are levels of "gayness" - ala the Kinsey scale. But I don't believe anyone chooses to be - pardon the pun - out and out gay. My sister is gay, I am not. We were both raised the same way, and we've been relatively close our entire lives. That being said, we are very different - she's wannabe domestic goddess, I'm the "sportier" one, playing golf, skiing, tennis (no longer, CC!). I've always known that she was gay, it was never anything stated and she never came out to me. We've discussed it as adults and she often said she's known it her whole life.

She's been in long term relationships for most of her adult life, 23 years with one partner and about 5 with her current partner. I've been divorced for 10 years and apart from an on again, off again relationship, between kids, career and a sick parent, I've been single. We've often joked that if I were gay, I'd have been single for 10 minutes.

Early in their relationship, her current partner set up a "blind date" (unbeknown to me) with a friend of hers - we all met for dinner and the girl was just great - and not fitting any gay stereotypes at all. After dinner, my sister's partner pulled me aside and asked me what I thought of her...I responded that she was great, a wonderful conversationalist and I hoped we'd all get together again some time.

"No, no, no" she asked - "Are you interested?"

Dumb look on my face, "In what?" I tried to recall the conversation, "Protesting the funding cuts for student aid?" We had talked about tuition issues at the university where they both worked.

Exasperated look on her face - "Your sister was right...you ARE straight" Evidently, I was being hit on and never knew it!!!

It's definitely Nature.


NJDecorator said...

I completely agree. Look at my husbands family. It can only be nature.

Mrs. K said...

nature...definitely nature. I don't think it's a choice thing at all.

jenn said...

Great story!

MsMVNJ said...

jenn, thanks - one would say that I completely lack gaydar..*lol* Would you invite me to read your blog? I love your comments here and would like the opportunity to read your blog!

jenn said...

Sure, just send me your email address at jenn@arnola.com. I'll send an invite your way!