To be a Barbie girl?

I would love to have Barbie's bod, I'm not gonna lie. Who wouldn't want long, shapely legs, a waist that would make Scarlett O'Hara jealous, the perfectly sculpted face, or the full D cup she's sporting?

I would! I would!!

But, sigh, it is not my lot in life. I'm more like overweight Skipper.

If money were not an obstacle, though, what would I do to improve myself???

Well, I'd love perky, supple breasts as much as the next girl, but I don't know if I could go through with implants, just for vanity's sake. It sounds excruciatingly painful. I'd be paranoid that they'd bust. And would they feel fake? I don't know if they'd be worth the risk. I know a few girls who have had implants. The one common denominator was they were very insecure girls. I don't know if the implants helped in that department or not, but I hope so. I am not judging, if they want bigger boobs, they should have them, but I don't know if it's the route I'd choose. I'm sort of a wuss, so imperfect breasts will do.

But on the other hand, I would love to *ahem* even out some differences I've got up top. It would be nice to be symmetrical. It's a toss up on the ta tas.

As for plastic surgery on the face, no. I was blessed with a good enough nose, and the cheekbones and chin are adequate, so I am satisfied. If I weren't so satisfied, then who knows? But I think it'd be so unsettling to one day wake up with a different nose or whatever, even if it was for the better. It'd be so weird. I do think Ashley Simpson's new nose is beautiful, but I also thought she was cute before. To each her own.

Botox and plumping injections are another story. I'd love some now, please!! I already have under eye wrinkles and crow's feet, so bring it on. But I cannot afford this, so it's out of the question. They are only temporary and mostly safe so I would not hesitate if it weren't so expensive.

When it comes to lipo or similar procedures, yes, I say go for it. If I did lose the weight I need to lose, I'd still have a lumpy lower abdomen. It'll never be flat again. The C-section ruined any hope of a flat tummy ever again. I'd take a tummy-tuck if I could afford it.

Face lifts freak me out. They almost always look creepily unnatural. I know nobody wants to look 70, but it's weird to look 35 when you are twice that. Give it up.

And then there are the freaks like Joan Rivers and Michael Jackson that don't know when to stop. They are poster children for what is wrong with plastic surgery. A little enhancement is good, trying to become someone else is just strange and sad.