Phobia....

I'm not really a scaredy cat per se, but I have a few namely, dying alone. My son not having adequate care after I die, but the biggest right now is fear of being left behind. I believe that when you divorce, there's a certain acceptable period of time to be single. If you've not managed to hook up in that time frame - people start to drift away because either you take on that desperate air (which was never me) or the spinster who'd rather be alone (not me either, but I think that's where someone who's "too independent" gets filed). When my job took me on the road too much to find a mate, and then my mom got sick and I became the caregiver, my life went on hold - not completely my choice, but I wouldn't have done anything differently. The first couple of years everyone was around, but then after that, as each illness became more prolonged and more of my time went to caring, people began to drift away. As we move closer to retirement - I fear that I do not see a place where I'm accepted for me and seen with "pity" as the one who couldn't find a match.