"Thanks so much for all your fabulous input. It's wonderful to have such a terrific team of dynamic women of different ages, experiences and backgrounds discussing the most exciting events of the day. Keep up the good work ladies!"
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Barbara says...
"Thanks so much for all your fabulous input. It's wonderful to have such a terrific team of dynamic women of different ages, experiences and backgrounds discussing the most exciting events of the day. Keep up the good work ladies!"
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
What I Was Taught vs. What I Have Come To Believe...
are completely different. Growing up, it was "wrong". As I have spent more time on earth and met many wonderful Gay people, my beliefs have changed. I do believe that there are some people who are Gay because it is trendy, shocking, or something new...but I also believe that there are others who did not have a choice in the matter.
As for my daughters knowing what it means to be Gay...well, right now they are 5 and 10 months. At this age, they are more interested in toys and making sure that they both get the same amount of attention from Mom, Dad, and the rest of the relatives. I am sure that at a later date, this subject will come up. When that time comes, we will discuss it and answer any questions that they may have. Both my husband and I try to parent our children in a way that they are not and will not be afraid to talk with us about anything and everything.
As for my daughters knowing what it means to be Gay...well, right now they are 5 and 10 months. At this age, they are more interested in toys and making sure that they both get the same amount of attention from Mom, Dad, and the rest of the relatives. I am sure that at a later date, this subject will come up. When that time comes, we will discuss it and answer any questions that they may have. Both my husband and I try to parent our children in a way that they are not and will not be afraid to talk with us about anything and everything.
To be, or not to be?
I believe there is something to be said for the effect that some types of nuturing might have on forming a person’s sexual orientation. I would certainly not say that is the ONLY way that sexual orientation is formed. And certainly not the LEADING way that sexual orientation is formed. I just think there might be a correlation in some cases.
If you are a homosexual relationship, I believe the United States of America should offer you the same rights that other citizens who have formed a similar partnership enjoy. I can’t personally include 'holy matrimony' as one of those rights. I think God intended marriage as a sacrament between a man and a woman. I know a lot of you don't share that opinion, and that's ok. I can honestly see both sides to the argument, and will never really know this side of heaven whether I made the correct interpretation.
My children understand what being gay means. I'm not sure they know anyone that they are certain is gay. My husband has a co-worker who is in a relationship, and we have a great time with her and her partner on company trips. We have had some rousing discussions with both of them trying to swing me over to their way of thinking (politically, of course!!!).
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If you are a homosexual relationship, I believe the United States of America should offer you the same rights that other citizens who have formed a similar partnership enjoy. I can’t personally include 'holy matrimony' as one of those rights. I think God intended marriage as a sacrament between a man and a woman. I know a lot of you don't share that opinion, and that's ok. I can honestly see both sides to the argument, and will never really know this side of heaven whether I made the correct interpretation.
My children understand what being gay means. I'm not sure they know anyone that they are certain is gay. My husband has a co-worker who is in a relationship, and we have a great time with her and her partner on company trips. We have had some rousing discussions with both of them trying to swing me over to their way of thinking (politically, of course!!!).
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Nature or Nuture? I'm a case study.....
I say it's nature - you don't choose to be gay. I think there are levels of "gayness" - ala the Kinsey scale. But I don't believe anyone chooses to be - pardon the pun - out and out gay. My sister is gay, I am not. We were both raised the same way, and we've been relatively close our entire lives. That being said, we are very different - she's wannabe domestic goddess, I'm the "sportier" one, playing golf, skiing, tennis (no longer, CC!). I've always known that she was gay, it was never anything stated and she never came out to me. We've discussed it as adults and she often said she's known it her whole life.
She's been in long term relationships for most of her adult life, 23 years with one partner and about 5 with her current partner. I've been divorced for 10 years and apart from an on again, off again relationship, between kids, career and a sick parent, I've been single. We've often joked that if I were gay, I'd have been single for 10 minutes.
Early in their relationship, her current partner set up a "blind date" (unbeknown to me) with a friend of hers - we all met for dinner and the girl was just great - and not fitting any gay stereotypes at all. After dinner, my sister's partner pulled me aside and asked me what I thought of her...I responded that she was great, a wonderful conversationalist and I hoped we'd all get together again some time.
"No, no, no" she asked - "Are you interested?"
Dumb look on my face, "In what?" I tried to recall the conversation, "Protesting the funding cuts for student aid?" We had talked about tuition issues at the university where they both worked.
Exasperated look on her face - "Your sister was right...you ARE straight" Evidently, I was being hit on and never knew it!!!
It's definitely Nature.
She's been in long term relationships for most of her adult life, 23 years with one partner and about 5 with her current partner. I've been divorced for 10 years and apart from an on again, off again relationship, between kids, career and a sick parent, I've been single. We've often joked that if I were gay, I'd have been single for 10 minutes.
Early in their relationship, her current partner set up a "blind date" (unbeknown to me) with a friend of hers - we all met for dinner and the girl was just great - and not fitting any gay stereotypes at all. After dinner, my sister's partner pulled me aside and asked me what I thought of her...I responded that she was great, a wonderful conversationalist and I hoped we'd all get together again some time.
"No, no, no" she asked - "Are you interested?"
Dumb look on my face, "In what?" I tried to recall the conversation, "Protesting the funding cuts for student aid?" We had talked about tuition issues at the university where they both worked.
Exasperated look on her face - "Your sister was right...you ARE straight" Evidently, I was being hit on and never knew it!!!
It's definitely Nature.
Very Complex
No simple cause for sexual orientation has been conclusively demonstrated, and there is no scientific consensus as to whether the contributing factors are primarily biological or environmental. Many think both play complex roles.[1][2]. The American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Psychological Association have both stated that sexual orientation probably has multiple causes.[3][4] Conclusive proof of a biological cause of sexual orientation would have significant political and cultural implications. [5]
Just put the word "Gay" into a Google Search and it's mind boggling to read all the research that has and is still being done to determine why an individual is Gay.
My feeling is that regardless of why a person is Homosexual has nothing to do with how they should be treated by society. Yes there are some women and men who decide to experiment for the thrill of it and aren't gay this isn't what we are referring to.
My children are grown and are all in Heterosexual relationships. I would not have loved any one of them any less if they had been gay. I know that it's not easy for a parent to accept and the reason is the intolerant smug people that will make life difficult for that child.
My brother who is deceased was gay and it breaks my heart that he was never able to discuss it with my family and therefore had to feel so isolated. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret not having sat down and talked about it with him.
Why didn't I ??
Just put the word "Gay" into a Google Search and it's mind boggling to read all the research that has and is still being done to determine why an individual is Gay.
My feeling is that regardless of why a person is Homosexual has nothing to do with how they should be treated by society. Yes there are some women and men who decide to experiment for the thrill of it and aren't gay this isn't what we are referring to.
My children are grown and are all in Heterosexual relationships. I would not have loved any one of them any less if they had been gay. I know that it's not easy for a parent to accept and the reason is the intolerant smug people that will make life difficult for that child.
My brother who is deceased was gay and it breaks my heart that he was never able to discuss it with my family and therefore had to feel so isolated. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret not having sat down and talked about it with him.
Why didn't I ??
Wow, I could talk about this for hours...
but I won't do that. However, what pisses me off..today?
1) Not having the balls to lay people off in person. What the hell is up with a telephone call?
2) Women talking on the phone while driving and not using a hands free device. It's distracting enough to use a phone and drive, why make it worse. And then go 35 in the fast lane on the highway.
3) Speaking of highways - tailgaters are terrifying and jerks.
4) A migraine that will not go away no matter how much medicine I take.
5) Someone foisting their views on me - religious, political, etc. - without being wiling to listen to any alternative viewpoint.
6) Intolerance - I have seen a lot of that lately and it makes me sad.
I could go on, but I do like to think of myself as an optimist.
1) Not having the balls to lay people off in person. What the hell is up with a telephone call?
2) Women talking on the phone while driving and not using a hands free device. It's distracting enough to use a phone and drive, why make it worse. And then go 35 in the fast lane on the highway.
3) Speaking of highways - tailgaters are terrifying and jerks.
4) A migraine that will not go away no matter how much medicine I take.
5) Someone foisting their views on me - religious, political, etc. - without being wiling to listen to any alternative viewpoint.
6) Intolerance - I have seen a lot of that lately and it makes me sad.
I could go on, but I do like to think of myself as an optimist.
What I believe...
It would be very Catholic of me to say that, yes, being gay is a choice, ( say a rosary and all will be forgiven) however I really do not believe that. Just as our graceful moderator pointed out, I do think some people choose to be in same-sex relationship, whether or not that makes them gay is another million dollar question. But down to the heart of it, I can't imagine most homosexual people just wake up one morning and say, "I'd like to try something new today..." In a lot of places, being gay is socially acceptable, but in small town rural America, it is still a taboo. I really believe people would not put themselves in a compromising situation, about their sexuality, on the whim of being different or trying something new. My other Catholic conscience, also, believes we are all innately good people, regardless of sexual preference and your choice to be gay is not any more a "sin" or wrong than me lusting after Brad Pitt.
As for my children, my older daughter has seen some same sex couples in public. I have really just explained that all families are different and some families have two mommies/daddies, or just one of each etc... Both girls, ages 6 & 8 have seemed pretty satisfied with that answer for the time being.
As for my children, my older daughter has seen some same sex couples in public. I have really just explained that all families are different and some families have two mommies/daddies, or just one of each etc... Both girls, ages 6 & 8 have seemed pretty satisfied with that answer for the time being.
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